Communicating

When having a conversation do you stay in the here and now, and listen to exactly what the other person is saying. Or do you get lost in your own head and over analyze what the other person is saying and why they are saying it. Communication involves listening to the other person whether you agree with them or not. Good communication skills help us avoid conflict and solve problems.
Have you ever heard of the word self-talk, it is that talk that goes on inside your head the one that sorts out what you are going to say, based on what the other person has said and what you perceived they said. It also can interfere with your listening if your self-talk gets ahead of the conversation and prejudges and assumes what the other person is going to say.
We hear what we want to hear, and what we expect to hear. What came out of our mouth is not always what the other person hears. Also what came out of our mouth is not what we were thinking before we spoke.
We can’t listen to two people at the same time yourself and the other person. Also you can’t speak to someone and talk to yourself in your own head.
If you catch yourself doing this take a deep breath refocus, and give the other person the opportunity to clarify what they said.
Sifu Hayes
www.silentriverkungfu.com Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada