Life Law #1: You either get it or you don't. Those who "get it" understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Those who don't are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break.
Life Law #2: You create your own experience. This means taking responsibility for your life. If you’re in a bad relationship, if you’re in a job you hate, if you’re overweight, then you have no one to blame but yourself. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Instead, start choosing the right behaviors and thoughts. Eventually, it will lead to the positive outcomes you want.
Life Law #3: People do what works. Even the most destructive behaviors have a payoff. If they didn’t, you wouldn’t do them, right? So, if you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you have to recognize what you are gaining from it. Then figure out other, more constructive ways you can gain what you need.
Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
If you're unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. You've got to face it to replace it. Acknowledgment means, admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you are doing, and giving yourself a no-kidding, bottom-line truthful confrontation. You cannot afford the luxury of lies, denial or defensiveness.
Life Law #5: Life rewards action. Talk is cheap. It's what you do that determines the script of your life. Measure yourself and others based on results — not intentions or words. Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward.
Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.
Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
You are a life manager, and your objective is to actively manage your life in a way that generates high-quality results. You are your own most important resource for making your life work. Success is a moving target that must be tracked and continually pursued.
Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you.
Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Not knowing what you want — from your major life goals to your day-to-day desires — is not OK. The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. If you don't even know what it is that you want, then you can't even ask for it. You also won't even know if you get there!
Dr. Phil’s ten life laws. Very true.
Sifu Hayes Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain, Alberta Canada
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